The End Is Near

2012. The latest buzz in the movie sector (aside from the equally popular New Moon). I have been waiting for it to be shown here in the Philippines ever since I saw its trailer last year. True enough, when it was released here last last Wednesday, I rushed to the cinema that weekend with my friend. I was hoping that it would be in 3D so that I can watch it in IMAX theater at MOA but was disappointed. I was trying to imagine the waves, and the fires if it will be shown in 3D. Must be a more exciting movie if that is the case.

Anyway, the movie was excellent! I mean, my expectation was met. Although, it may sound corny to some, because of some glitches in the movie. By glitches, I mean the usual scenario of the lead casts surviving; and when they have to fly a plane, someone with them (in this particular case, John Cusack's ex-wife's partner) coincidentally can fly a plane no matter what the size. And, he also happened to be a plastic surgeon. It is also quite amazing that a radio personality is broadcasting from the park where Cusack and his kids are camping and this radio personality so happened to know about the "ark" that could save a few people, read: those filthy rich ones. And, he also have the map on where to find the "ark" and it is in China. Which also made me think that, by that time, China really is the place to go for anything to be manufactured.

Aside from some other "usual scenarios", the movie has a mix of everything. It has drama, comedy, and thrill. It is a thought-provoking, spiritually-uplifting, conscience-knocking, breath-holding, "wake-up" kind of a movie. It is quite detailed too. They have managed to think of getting a Black to play the part of American President during the year 2009. I love the technical aspects of the movie. It has good special effects, though I am not an expert on this, but I really love the special effects. I love the fire, the crashes, the waves.. It is not done poorly like in other movies wherein it is obvious that those are computer effects only. This one is done smoothly. Special effects are incorporated perfectly, "real-time", and executed timely.

I also cannot dismiss the idea that this movie mirrored the reality of the social system this world has. In the movie, the "ark" was reserved for the elites only. They bought tickets for this ride. And the cost of a ticket is really a fortune. Its as if it is exclusive for the filthy rich people and no space for the ordinary workmen. These elites spent all their fortune and expelled all their power to save their lives. The sad thing is, even at this situation, some people remains selfish. They would do everything to save themselves, and their families but in turn, they made the arks exclusive only to them. Not minding those people standing just outside the ark even if there are still a lot of space for a lot of people.

I hope, and I could just pray that if ever this kind of doomsday would come and befall on mankind, that this kind of selfishness would vanish. That hopefully, mankind would help each other and save as much people as they can. In this kind of situation, as corny as it may sound, we, the people are one. And equal.

Only in the Philippines

The news yesterday regarding the violence in Maguindanao ended the day with such overflowing emotions. We are relatively lively and happy in the office yesterday but the ambience turned gloomy with the Maguindanao massacre aired on ANC. The deadly event has also brought up mixed emotions to yours truly. The event has made me worried, and afraid, and angry all at the same time. I also can't help but pity the Philippines. Because, due to this scenario, I can't help but feel hopeless for the Philippine election scenario. If this kind of situation would be a main-stay every election period, then might as well not to have elections. It may be violating the human rights of Filipino people but if for every election period, many people would die because of election shit, then let us just spare these people and sacrifice the voting rights that we have. I know this might be offending to other people but to what extent do we want for election violence to reach? I have observed that for every election period the violence gets graver.

Filipinos are not at all dumb but the country's politics sucks big time. Is it because of the power? Of the fame? Of the money? It has always been political dynasties all over the country. May it be for national or local posts. But does it have to be this way? Mass killing? Even if there are civillians and journalists? These journalists are just interested in the news. They are just doing their jobs. And yet, they end up dead too.

To date, the Maguindanao killings yesterday has again, ranked the Philippines as the first and only. The first and only journalist killing with such a number. Really..


Only in the Philippines indeed.

Philippines, My Philippines

My boss gave me a copy of an article by Ms. Ana Marie Pamintuan of The Philippine Star in her column "Sketches" published last September 28, 2009. The article was titled "Made in China". By the title, I thought it was something about the Made-in-China-everything that scattered on the streets here in the Philippines. When I finally set my eyes on the first word of the article, I realized that it is really about China.

As I read the first three paragraphs of the article, I felt sad. Ok, not because it has some drama in it. In fact, the article was written in a matter-of-fact way. I felt sad because she mentioned that the FedEx hub previously located in Subic, here in the Philippines, was relocated in Guangzhou. That is the same FedEx I saw on TV the day its plane left Subic to serve its purpose for the very last time. As if the sadness invoked was not enough, she then continued by saying that in a market of fruits and vegetables imported by China from numerous neighboring countries, not even a single Philippine mango caught her eye amidst the sea of fruits and vegetables. For the reason that she later found out: Philippine-grown produces are exported in a minimal number.

I was left in awe, thinking that Philippines is an agricultural country. Meaning, fruits and vegetables are of abundance, enough to be exported to other countries. Philippines, regarded as a third world country should have had grabbed the opportunity of catering to the demand of China of agricultural products. The opportunity has presented itself to the Filipinos and yet the Filipinos has remained stagnant. Our farmers has been complaining about the imported products that the government has been allowing to enter the country. They said that these imported, and yet cheaper products are killing the local agriculture sector. Actually, if they are willing, and if the Philippine government would help these farmers, they should be exporting our products to the neighboring countries, such as China. Imagine, the country that has been providing us things that we already have, especially in terms of produces, are also importing from other countries. And why can't it be imported from the Philippines, for a change? I may not an expert here, but I think, if only the government would be firm on imports and exports of the country, many of our poor farmers and fishermen would be pulled out of poverty.

I am not a hypocrite, and I admit that I also patronize imported products. But, kung sasabayan lang natin ang ibang bansa by exporting our own products, knowing that there is demand, then I believe that even we are importing products from other places, our agricultural sector wouldn't be killed.

Just think of the profit that our country would be gaining. Look at the businesses that export christmas decorations. They are not big companies. And yet, they earn well. They do not need to build buildings, hire 100's of people to work on their products and yet they have the ability to export their own products. And from how much capital? They get their raw materials from the country, which is cheaper, paste it here and there in a creative way, and voila! Dollar-earning Christmas decorations bound to richer countries.

If we are going to shun away opportunities like this, there would be no doubt that each and every sector of this country would just eventually die away. The market is there, ever existing. If we still wouldn't give a damn, then Philippines would remain a third world country, generation after generation.

Look at other Asian countries that has been at par with the Philippines before. Look at Vietnam, we used to be better than them and yet, they are now more prosperous than us. Look at China, they are now catering to the needs of the world. From Philippines to the U.S. From shoes, and bags to computers and even manpower. I mean come on, while everyone is suffering from the recession, and even the United States has been declaring bankruptcy of their enormous firms,left and right, China has been thriving. Its almost saying that China beat the big R. In the middle of ailing economies here and there, China gained its ground and emerged succesfully.

I am not praising China just because I'm half Chinese. But I really wish that China would be Philippines' greatest motivation. I do not intend to boast on China's success but I want its story to inspire this country. My country.

Opposition Re-position?

It has always been a battleground. A cockfight. A war. War of words, of infomercials, of singing, of dancing, of monologues, and of celebrities that would circus around just to "market" the product. I mean, the candidate. This country-wide circus is popularly known as the election.

It is already November and the clamour for election advantage has begun. In fact one of the wars has already begun. The war of informercials. At this time, even if you only turn on your television late at night, it is fairly impossible that you won't see any politician waving, looking sad, handling this and that... Oh well, the circus has opened its doors.

Now that the election is just a few months away, the show has now gone funnier. For the past months, the Administration vs. Opposition war has been noisy. It has been a riot. And it has been a debate of never-ending. It is as if the members of each are mortal enemies. Some of their rebuttal has even become personal. The arguments just do not end. The fire between them has grown stronger and has forced them apart. The endless accusations, cases, and the rallies may it be peaceful or deadly. All of this are part of the political arena. It is like both parties are in some kind of grudge towards each other and that grudge won't be cease anymore.

That was before.

Since the election period is approaching, the wind has changed its course. A few weeks ago, I heard a news that one of the administration's greatest critic may be open to the possibility of teaming up with the Administration's bet on the 2010 elections. Although I haven't heard of any confirmations yet, I am still hoping that this will stay only as a rumor. I understand that this maybe because of his ambition but I think he is going too far from his "principle". The principle that he would always fight for before, as an Administration critic. He has always been at the side of the opposition. I even had a chance to listen to his speech when I was still in college. And although the topic is of non-politics, the speech has a part of it that talks about it. Through the course, as far as I can remember, his name is almost equal to opposition. Refusing to side with the Administration. Even if his reason is his ambition, and ambition is bigger than politics, I still believe that principle is way bigger than ambition. Where would your ambition take you if you cannot take a stand? How can you fulfill a very powerful responsibility if you would eventually forsake your principle inspite of the public's trust? I am not a member of the opposition but I admired him before for not being scared to tell the truth and to seek for it. I respect him for his gift of making speeches and statements that of great patriotism. And now, with this news, I feel betrayed. Betrayed that the man who I looked up to before for his principles, is now risking that trust that we gave him. I say we because I know that many people also admired him for his courage to expose the truth. To go against the most powerful person in the country. And he said it was because of his love for this country. I feel betrayed. And if this news finally materializes, then I would just accept that I was betrayed.

In and Out of the Rain

It has been a rainy and dredging weekend. Our area here has never encountered flooding even during those super typhoons. I can still remember Milenyo when rooftops of some of our neighbors would fly in the air due to strong winds. The sound of the wind lashing on our window panes. But even though, it never flooded here although a creek is just nearby. Until Ondoy...

It has been raining on Friday night till Saturday. It was on Saturday afternoon, at about 2PM that when my grandmother look out at the streets that we have realized that there's flood. I went outside too to witness the scene that my grandmother was too surprised to see. When I looked down the street, I was shocked to see that right below the building people are standing knee-deep in flood waters. Cars has stopped from going on and just turned to re-route. Even big trucks are hesitant to go through the flood because even though it is only knee-deep right below the building, it is waist-deep out on the corner. The entire 7 to 8 streets of never flooding area has now been submerged to flood. The creek near our building has already overflowed. It has already been almost like a lake. A scene I will always remember.

It was this time that I cannot fail to notice that floating on flood waters are bags and bags of plastic, full of garbage, wood planks, and whatnots. Then, I understood. The never flooding area which I have been residing my entire life, was full of garbages. It is also the reason that I can think of why it has flooded here. The creek alone serves as trash can of the people residing near it and plastic bags of any colors that you can think of has decorated the creek's surface.

Now, I am not an expert, nor am I an environmentalist. But I know that these garbage, especially plastic bags are one of the main reasons why it flooded here for the first time. If only people would observe the proper way of disposal, it might not have happened here, or in any least, it may not be as bad as it had been. I am not being a hypocrite but I am proud to say that I have never spit on the street not even once. I have developed the habit of looking for trash cans to throw away candy wrappers, or if not one is in sight, I simply tuck it away on a tissue paper before putting it in my jean's pocket or bag and throwing it in a trash can later on. I believe through these simple ways of disposing your garbages properly, you can contribute to the environment's wellness. Imagine, out of thousands of people living in our area, if everybody has been disposing properly, how much plastic bags would have not ended up on creeks, and on the streets. It might not have took revenge and in turn found their way to the houses. That weekend, nobody might have gone through what they experienced. It might have been rainy but not lake-like streets.

From Princesses to Murderers

I am a book lover. I prefer buying books and reading it while in bed, in coffee shops, instead of listening to it. What with audio books or podcasts everywhere. I love turning pages of read-worthy books. Kind of books that will certainly take your breath away, making you ache to know the next thing that will happen, those that will make you keep your hands clutch tightly on the book as events unfold.

I have been reading quite a lot of books since I was in Elementary. It ranges from Sweet Valleys to those book report types. But, as much as a book lover that I am, I never had a favorite author. Even though every time I fill up a friend's slum book, I always write Francine Pascal as my favorite author. Growing up, my love for book reading did not at all, ceased. But it has lessen. What with textbooks and textbooks that school teachers require us to read. I just do not have time for leisure reading anymore. It is when I am about to graduate in college that I started the habit of reading again. I have read a variety of books but I have discovered that chic-lit books are what I mostly opt for. It is because of the fact that my life is already stressful that I want something that could lift my spirits or make me laugh at the very least instead of cry a river thing. Well, sometimes though I read those tear-jerker books like Nicolas Sparks' A Walk to Remember. Anyway, in my search of beautifully crafted chic-lit books, I found Princess Diaries. Of course, with the help of cable channels showing Mia Thermopolis' transformation. I dived into the royal world of Mia. But, I did not however, finish all the published installment. I guess, I have grown away from it.

Last year, I have scanned my stacks of magazines and tried to search for books featured on these mags to add to my collection. I am aching to read again but I want those fun, light ones, so that it won't add to the heaviness of my emotional baggage. It was then that I came across "Size 14 Is Not Fat Either". At first, I did not realize the author. I mean, I just wrote down the title, the author, and then head to Nat'l Bookstore to purchase it. But then, the book was a little over my budget at that time so I did not buy is as planned. It was only last month that I saw it again, with much a lower price than the first time I saw it. So, naturally, I bought it. The 1st and the 2nd installment. I left the 3rd installment behind thinking that I will buy it after the first two installment. Well, honestly, to "test the waters". If I will like the story or not.

So now, I just finished the 2nd installment of Heather's Mysteries, she is the Mia in this series I am blabbering about. She is the heroine of Meg's crime novel. And now that I have finished reading the 2nd installment, I am really disappointed of myself that I did not buy the 3rd installment. It is really a magnificent novel. Meg Cabot do not only know royalty and grandeur. She also know murders, stories I mean, and executes it perfectly. I sooo love this Heather Wells' Mysteries series. Meg wrote the story not only thrillingly but also comically. Okay, you may not be convinced on the greatness of the outcome of this combination. But, it is real awesome. You should try reading this to see for yourself. I know you will be addicted to it. You will be actively thinking with Heather, trying to solve the puzzle yourself. But this kind of thinking you wouldn't mind doing. You would laugh on the hysteria of Heather's bouncy life. You would be frustrated on Heather's love life.

Meg Cabot is simply a chic-lit novelist alright. A princess of her own field as I can say.

I Only See Yellow...

I have been watching almost each and every TV program that has Cory Aquino death news on it. I have been sleeping very very late already since she passed away, watching the news on TV.

I was born in 1986 and obviously, I am still oblivious of the things around me. I did not experience the People Power, nor witnessed the installation of Cory as our President. I only learned about everything when I was in Elementary, when History teachers would teach it in class.

It was only when I was in college that I developed the habit of watching news on TV every night. It was also then that I realized that Cory was very much involved with what is happening in the Philippines. I have only seen her before during the EDSA 2. And I thought it was only then that she is asked to participate on such an important event (quite innocent of me at that time). But when I started to watch news every night, I learned that indeed she is still involved.

It was when the Impeachment hearing was on going when I saw Cory again. That time, I thought, what is all that fuss about Cory coming? Why do people shout as if the Savior has come? It was later that I realized why. You see, she is considered as the Democracy, the Truth. She is the only one who could really bring people together just like what she did in 1986. It was then that I realized that she is indeed, that powerful.

Philippine Politics has taken its own twists and turns. And over and over, Cory has been there.

When she passed away, it felt surreal. I am not a part of her family but I felt I was in denial. I don't even know why. Of all the special coverage of ABS-CBN all throughout, since Cory passed away, I did not let any of it pass. If any of it was shown during daytime, when I was in the office, I make sure that I watch the replay during the night on ANC. During the First interview with Kris on The Buzz last Sunday, I listened closely, picturing each scene she is describing in my mind. I got mad when she told about the attempted withdrawal of Cory's security aides. I cried when she told each stories. And cried some more during the Necrological Mass. I have been following the coverage since Saturday evening from the Special Edition of XXX till the Necrological Mass yesterday. I missed the beginning of the Necro Mass yesterday so I waited for the replay on ANC last night. I have been crying together with Kris, who I think cried the most during the Necro Mass. I have also been crying for an hour or so, listening to those stories of each people whom the Former President has been with.

Today, during the Requiem Mass, I have been crying again. Each segment has been very emotional, very personal. And it is with this that I felt almost exactly how the people felt. The long lines outside where the remains lay, whether it be in La Salle or in Manila Cathedral, made me realize how great Cory is. Who would queue in long lines, rain or shine, if not for someone special? And it is indeed proved that that woman lying in there is indeed special. People from all walks of life came to pay their respects. People from every part of the Philippines represented their townpeople that cannot come. They have been patient no matter how long the lines stretched, no matter how drenched they were.

What wondered me the most was I have noticed that everytime Cory's casket is brought outside, the rain would almost stop. I noticed it earlier when the casket was brought out of the Cathedral. It happened again at the Memorial Park, when the casket was opened again for the family. It did not rain even after the burial. Heaven really do love Cory.

Now that she is gone, I wonder, who would lead Change now? Who would lead prayer vigils? Even if I have not experienced anything with her personally, I would definitely miss her. I would miss her ever so gentle, yet powerful voice. I would miss images of her on TV and broadsheets, kneeling as she prays. I would miss seeing her holding a rosary in hand and praying. It is indeed a big loss to the Philippines. And like everybody else, I hope that whatever she has done and sacrificed for the Philippines would not be put to waste.

MJ: Rest In Peace.. Or Not?

It has been weeks since the "King of Pop" left us and yet, its as if his life was being lived all over again. His stories never ended, his controversies never subsided. I have been watching "ET-HD" on cable almost every night because of their special coverage of Michael Jackson's life and controversies. Yes, I admit, I have been quite following on the developments about Michael Jackson. But, I can't help to think sometimes that the media has been quite abusive already. The first few days after MJ's death, news are roaring from everywhere. What, with the autopsy, the toxicology.. I can't imagine how people could disrespect a deceased that much. How, in the name of fame, of arrogance, could someone be persistent on wanting to know a private matter about a person. Is it because the person is famous? Is it because they wanted to be the first? Is it because they wanted to quench the thirst of knowing the secrets and mysteries behind a Michael Jackson?

I was shocked and disgusted when I heard about the news that a part of MJ's brain was left with the coroner for toxicology.. Also about the rumored missing body, which supposedly is inside the gold plated casket during the special tribute/wake.. About the drugs he is taking.. About his physician who allegedly is responsible of MJ's death.. Of his children who might not be his own.. Of the might-be secret child.. Of the rumor that MJ is gay.. that he has been secretly seeing a guy in a cheap motel somewhere.. Of his missing nose prosthetics.. and all sorts of things. I just don't understand why on earth would people report on that kind of things?

Is it because he is famous? Is that what he should pay out of being The Michael Jackson? I admit that I am watching these news on TV. Im guilty of being curious about his has been life. I can't resist watching these news whenever I see headlines bearing MJ's name on it. I bet these shows are earning much than those days that Michael Jackson is still alive. Maybe, this is also the reason why the media has been digging deeper and more deeper each time. Because, this is the opportunity that they have been wanting. To have things to talk about that has juicy details. The juicier, the better. The more controversial, the more money. The more delicate, the more audience. The more mysterious, the more patrons. And in cases of famous people, the worse, the best.

Really, what do you care if he has a dozen kids? What it is to you if he is gay? What does it matter if he has already been cremated the day of the special tribute? What do you care if his nose prosthetics is missing?

But of all those crazy things told about him, the most disgusting and painful would be that his brother Jermaine Jackson has been planning to tell on his brother's doings. If it is in any truth.. Of all people why should it be him? His own brother. His own flesh. Whatever happened to being a family? Whatever happened to sticking with each other? Whatever happened to love? If it is true, is it really the consequence of being a big star? Is it really how it is when you are already up there? That there is really no other way but to go down? Is it really the way it is that when you are being looked up to by million of people, those who are closest to you stab you and make people turn their backs on you?

I may come as a hypocrite, being someone who criticizes and yet also is an audience of the exact same thing I criticize, but...

These news just made me aware that people like Michael Jackson cannot really rest in peace...

With Angels, Shun Demons Part 2

OK, after my emotional ramblings, I think I am quite ready for a less emotional review.

From a non-expert point of view, the movie for me is still excellent. It has a good pacing. Not too fast that you cannot fathom what you are watching anymore, and yet not too dragging that you are already eager to get out even if you haven't reached the middle part yet. As for the usual movies which the beginning do not quite spark interest, this one has managed to go past that stage successfully. I mean, the beginning did spark my interest. What with eyeballs and bloods.

Next part where Robert Langdon is being introduced to the movie, the excitement begins. And from that point on, the roar kept on going louder and louder. The excitement, the suspense, the thrill, the curiosity all swells up right to the brink. You wouldn't want to get up even to take a bathroom break. It is really that good.

Angels and Demons also served as my ticket to Rome. It has toured me to the Vatican City. Given me the idea of how it looks like inside the structure. The book has always up my interest of how does the place where the Pope resides look like. Of what kind of interiors they have. Is it simplicity that prevails or grandness that won over. And yes, it is grand. It is such a huge place, so huge that anyone could disappear inside it without anyone knowing anything.

And of course, the process of choosing for the new Pope. That is really satisfying. By this, I got a real picture of how the voting is done. The book did described the process quite exactly the same as how it is shown in the film. But of course, it is still very much different when you have "actually" see it unfold with your own eyes.

Outside the Vatican, of each place where the main characters search for any clue on the Cardinals or the killer himself, it is like joining a tour. With Robert Langdon as the tour guide not only of the physical place but also on the symbolisms. You just won't get tired and uninterested on their "journey". Sculptures of magnificence, of Angels, of churches, and of many infrastructures... You would be filled with so much appreciation of these things. Of the attractive words written on the book, still is nothing to the actual beauty showcased in the movie. Each scene is breathtaking not only of the scene itself, but of the equally breathtaking picturesque works of art.

In spite of the heart pounding chases, the movie tugged at my heart, and summoned tears from my eyes. The part where the camerlengo made a sacrifice, where the good has finally, took over the bad, my heart felt pierced. And just because of this tear jerking part, the movie, I can say has nothing to do with "people withdrawing their faith once they saw the movie".

Opposite the statement that this movie would test the faith of people, I believe that it has, in turn, strengthen the faith of those who watched the film. And, in relation to this, those who are saying that watching this movie might make you doubt Christianity, I am sorry to say, that you are wrong. From what I heard, some people from the church are encouraging people not to watch the film so as not to interfere with their beliefs. I say, if the person really is faithful, no amount of movies, of statements, of fictions, will make him doubt whatever he holds on to. And truly anything can destroy man's faith if he himself has not wholeheartedly accepted God in his heart. If these church people are afraid of mankind losing their faith, their belief, then maybe they should be asked if they have done their duties and responsibilities well. Because I can only see the reason that they are stopping people to watch the film is because they are afraid that these people would lose faith due to these people's negligence.

With Angels, Shun Demons

I've watched Angels and Demons on the big screen last Sunday with my friend. While going inside the cinema, I was thinking that hopefully the movie will be as exciting as the book. I've read both the "The Da Vinci Code" and "Angels and Demons". I have also watched "The Da Vinci Code" the movie. I was quite disappointed with the Da Vinci the movie version because I thought that few, if not many, was left out in the movie.

But boy oh boy! With "Angels and Demons" movie, I was wowed. I have never watched any movie that made my heart beat faster and faster while the movie is going on. Well, except if the movie is scary. The one when monsters kept on surprising you by shoving themselves on your face. The movie did justice to the book. And If I am Dan Brown, I would be insanely satisfied with the outcome of the movie. I was taken away with every scene. I have never experienced watching movies that made me hold my breath the way this movie did.

I was told that novel-cum-movie is not thrilling to watch because you already know the story. But I don't believe it. Well, with this movie, at least. The producers, scriptwriters, directors, made a good plot out of the book. I assure you that it will be worth your money. It will now be a newly added item to my very short list of favorite movies. And frankly, if only I don't have anyone with me, I would watch the movie over and over.

A more in-depth review will be written soon. When time would be on my side. As for now, I don't have the luxury of time in my hands. I'm not at home, that's why.

Again, kudos to the staff and crew of "Angles and Demons"!

Behind the Story

Here's the scene

"Where's the report?"

"Still in the process of finishing it

15 minutes after..

"Where's the report?"

"Give me a few more minutes. I'm summarizing everything up."

Another 20 minutes after..

"What time is it? Give me the report"

"Ok, I'll give you the ones that are already done."

*Busy doing the undone part of the report*

"Shiela, I need the production posting of these items"

*Posts the production report

"Shiela, have you encoded the data of the other warehouse?"

"..."

The next day...

"Where are the supporting documents (in relation to my submitted partial report)?"

"I don't have it with me"

"Then how did you verify if the reconciliation is justifiable?"

"..." (inside my head: As much as I want to do verifications, I just don't have the time to do everything at once)

"I did not ask you to just copy the reconciliation report they've done without verifying it. You have to make sure that what they wrote in their reconciliation report is justifiable blah blah blah.."

*Thinking: If only I have time to do it. I really want to do it but I am running out of time. I'm exhausted. Confused. I'm working my ass off but still it is not enough. In the first place, how do you expect me to do inventory auditing when accounting is my least favorite thing in this world? How many warehouses do I handle? I am just one person doing at least three person's job. I encode. A lot. I audit. I make purchase orders. Do follow-ups. What else do you want from me?

Funny how our bosses do not realize that we are incapable of doing too many things all at once. Not because we are not efficient, but because one person simply cannot do three person's job simultaneously. Especially if those that he is coordinating with also do not have a clue on what is going on in their own warehouse. I am not Superwoman nor am I Einstein. I need time, plenty of it, to finish everything. It's not easy to fulfill the requests of everybody. If someone needs something, I have to do it. Even if it does not concern me, I am the one being asked. Think of the time being wasted every time I get up to go outside to make or take a call. The time it takes me to try to answer queries that I don't even understand at all. The time for me to follow-up on some scheduled deliveries. I don't have the luxury of time itself. 8 hours a day is not enough for me to finish everything. My work do not only require good summaries. Before I can write a good summary, I have to spend hours to analyze things. I want to see through the reports submitted to me thoroughly but I am constrained by time.

I have never submitted late reports, at least not that kind of late. I want to do it thoroughly and surely. If only I have time. Or if only there is someone I could split the work with. I know I am not irresponsible. I know how to budget my time. But in cases like this, even well-budgeted time won't be enough to accomplish everything for so many more reasons.

Its not that I don't have the guts to speak out to my boss. But because I know that when I speak up, the ugly truth will surface. That both people and facilities are not enough. Just like when you cram a lot of your wardrobe inside a suitcase, stuffing more than its capacity, it explodes. People too, "explodes" when forced to take in everything way beyond his capacity.